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The mayo has gone bad.

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    My Name is Mayo

    Rating: 1.0 – Terrible

    The mayo has gone bad.

    We gamers all have our reasons for why we play video games. We may do it merely to unwind; we may do it because we like a challenge of our skills, an absorbing story that a TV show or movie simply wouldn’t have the time to tell, or for the more competitive of us, we love to amass a trophy or achievement collection that we can show off against fellow players.

    My Name is Mayo (Green Lava Studios, 2016) is no game that is going to blow you away with incredible graphics, an engrossing plot or revolutionary gameplay. It’s certainly no "Game of the Year" candidate ¨C though could you really expect it with a title like this? This is merely one of those games that seems to have been deliberately developed jokingly to offer almost nothing in terms of excitement, but will appeal to the trophy-hoarder PS4 players as it’s a very easy means of getting extra trophies on your profile and a title that can be fully cleared within around a half an hour.

    Once you’ve got this game downloaded from the PlayStation Store for the mere price of around a pound or a dollar and have it booted up, you are taken to a screen with an image of a large mayonnaise jar. The objective of this game is to move the pointer (in the form of a pointing finger) over the mayonnaise jar, and repeatedly clicking on it with taps of the Cross button on your PS4 controller. Yes, this is seriously all you have to do in order to complete this game.

    Well, almost everything. After a few clicks, you can visit the game’s Menu screen and enable your overall click count. But there’s also one other ‘objective’ in this game; you can select one of four colour-coded ‘stories’ that the mayo jar tells you, and advance it on by clicking the jar a required number of times in order to unlock the next part of the story in the menu. You select this next part of the story and repeat the process until the entire story is told. These range from a philosophical soliloquy, to short anecdotes, to a series of random facts. The advancing of these stories, as well as the occasional change of the jar’s label graphic and some costumes that it wears, from the likes of bra and panties to a leopard-spotted loincloth do at least do a little something to keep it (very slightly entertaining) while you’re sat there, frantically tapping away on that Cross button on your quest to reach the grand total of 10,000 and open the jar.

    The graphics of the game have some kind of 1940s style to them, and the only variety really comes in the different costumes you can see the jar wear. Otherwise, it sits there against a bright blue background with the occasional light show displayed every time you unlock something, and the game’s auto-save icon coming in the form of a rotating banana. Audio consists of a single, twinkly background theme, and ‘tonk’ effects every time you tap away at the jar. Have fun listening to that over and over again for half an hour, because it’s pretty much the whole game has to offer.

    So, what’s the overall point to investing any time and effort into this monotonous clicker game? One word ¨C TROPHIES ¨C and lots of them. For merely moving a pointer and tapping away on the Cross button, you can unlock a grand total of 51 ¨C fifty-one ¨C trophies to register on your PSN profile (46 Bronze, 4 Gold and 1 Platinum). Not bad for about half an hour’s work (provided you tap away at a quick and consistent rate), so for the pocket change it asks for on the PSN store, that’s an easy Platinum to earn and take pride of place on your profile!

    So in case you haven’t quite gathered already, this is a game that is entirely devoid of any challenge whatsoever, and there’s only one thing that could possibly entice you into coming back and continuing to play it even after you’ve unlocked that sparkling Platinum trophy ¨C this game actually comes with a high-scoring Leaderboard to view any time while playing! Yes, why not try to prove your mayo jar-clicking superiority by making the most clicks on the jar ever? Seriously, there’s high scores on there going into the multi-million figure region. If you really have nothing better to do with a few thousand hours, then go blow yourself away topping that.

    And that, folks, is the rather unique "game" that is My Name is Mayo. It gets a 2/10 because it is portrayed with a witty sense of humour, and it’s cheap and easy trophies. If that’s not one of your big incentives to play PS4 games, then there’s nothing to get out of playing this game because it’s practically worthless, mind-numbing and a waste of your time! And if quality comes first for you, leave your mayonnaise for your sandwiches, and your PS4 for proper video games!

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